Marriage and University Life

Having kids vs going for tenure -- I know this is a dilemna for many of my friends out there. For those who are interested, we have a speaker just on this topic next Wednesday, May 6 at 7:30pm, at 500 Kelton Ave, LA 90024. Event is free, to be followed by wine and cheese and conversation.

A Flying Laurence

Have you ever tried trapezing?

Laurence loves it (that's him in the black shirt in the picture). I tried it several times as well, and I have to confess I started to have fun after I got over my fear of jumping off the platform. It's a pretty good workout. Usually. There's always the risk of getting hurt -- I have been fortunate so far but Laurence has had his share of aches and pains from falling the wrong way or getting caught the wrong way. So he is going again this weekend and I told him he better not die on me, a week before the wedding. I am keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed +++

Mission Statement

I organized a book club recently with a couple of friends. Our first book is Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". We try our best to read the chapter for the week, meet up over lunch (we all work in the same university) and discuss. The first habit was: Be Proactive. We are currently discussing the second habit: Begin with the End in Mind. Each of us in the book club is supposed to come up with our life's mission statement when we meet tomorrow. Mine is pretty loose -- I just want to go to Heaven and take as many people with me as possible. I know that's too general... I need to make that more succinct. This mission-statement exercise is actually a good thing. Actually stating my life mission and articulating it in front of my book-club friends makes it more real and I'd actually feel more accountable... ok -- now I have to go and write me a statement!

Loving is... putting the other person ahead of oneself

I went for a practice run for my wedding hair at the salon last night. Chunin, my hairstylist, is Korean, a tough lady with a big heart. In broken English, she connects with me -- her client -- with stories of her personal life, her opinions and advise. Pretty much how this blog is trying to connect with you:) Anyways -- she said something which jumped at me, something I've heard before. She said loving your husband is really putting him first -- I know this sounds almost counter-intuitive to the usual slogan "Me first". And then she said "maintaining a loving heart is a frame of mind". "When you wake up in the morning", she says, "tell yourself how lucky you are to have found someone to love and who loves you right back. Think about all the wonderful virtues and characteristics of your man... don't get stuck in his flaws..." Very wise advise, I thought.

http://www.chunins.com/

Still Dancing in Her Dreams -- NYTimes

Just read the story about Liu Yan in the New York Times (4/19/2009). Ms. Yan was China's No. 1 dancer, and was practicing for a magnificent solo dance performance for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing when she "leapt toward a moving stage that malfunctioned, causing her to fall into a deep shaft and crash against a steel rod". Reminds me how fragile life can be, that it can change from one moment to the next... Certainly makes one ponder more deeply... the article ends with hope -- Ms. Yan has not given up on her condition, despite doctors saying her situation is hopeless... http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/19/arts/dance/19barb.html?th&emc=th

Hey World!

I am starting a new life in 2 weeks -- I'm going to be somebody's wife! Yep, I am getting married. Good-bye single life :) I can actually say that with a big smile in my heart now. I've always thought the engagement period would be a happy time, but it turned out to be not always so. There were moments when I can't be happier, especially when I'm in the company of my beloved. But it can be anxiety-ridden too... especially after 40 years of the single life :) And besides, there were/are many differences my fiance and I have to address: religious (I am Catholic, he is a non-practicing Jew), cultural (I was born and raised in the Philippines, he is a New Yorker and now LA-transplant), gender (I am female, he is male -- duh), economic (his family is upper middle class and mine is poor), professional (he is a film-maker/lawyer and I am a policy researcher) and ethnic (I am Asian Filipina, he is an Ashkenazi Jew) -- to name the more obvious ones. No matter the differences, no matter the challenges -- I have decided to see each day as an opportunity to live more, love more and laugh more.